A sense of change

It's been a while since I last wrote in this blog. I was stopped. My physical journey has come to an end, at least for now. I traveled across the country and back, and now I am at my destination in New Mexico. I felt like I should catch up and write about everything I experienced on that trip, but at the same time I saw new things were happening around me, and I felt their essence was slipping away. I need to move on to my original premise, that life is a journey. It's not just physical, moving from one geographical location to another. The important trip is really in my mind.

I am an idealist. I always have been. Age has tempered me with realism, but I still dream of the ideal. A while back I watched a pundit on TV who said Americans should package themselves as portable workers with their own health care and retirement plans, and they should acquire a portable skill set. This strategy, he claimed, would help those workers survive and thrive in the global atmosphere of outsourcing, layoffs and temporary employment.

That idea appealed to me. Layoffs were a constant threat to my job, and and I wanted some kind of assurance for myself. I liked the idea of being portable. I wanted to be a self-contained worker. I could walk into an employer's office and offer my services free and clear. Along with some other preparations, this plan would give me freedom to sever my ties to my current, soulless employer. I could move around, choose my work, choose my living location. It seemed ideal.

I set my course to become a freedom loving and unfettered worker. I did all the things I thought I should do, and more. Debt was in my crosshairs, and saving became my goal. I trimmed my possessions to the spartan necessities. Ridding myself of my excess belongings gave me a tremendous sense of satisfaction. I felt a sense of relief. I became unburdened. It was a spiritual experience.

My house had been my sanctuary for the last 4 years, but it wasn't ideal. I wanted a better place to work on my motorcycle. I wanted a place that was more energy efficient. My homeowner's association made me beholden to other people's rules, and it limited changes that I wanted to make to my own home. It wouldn't be hard for me emotionally to put my house on the market. The hard part was losing my base. I felt grounded when I could return home and hide out at the end of the day. I was jumping into the unknown and handing over my future to fate.

The portable worker idea gave me a seed of an idea to change my life. It started me on a physical and a mental journey. I had to find courage to let go of my old life, and trust that things would work out. So far, I am on plan.