Take This Job And Shove It

Didn't Merle Haggard sing that? I'm done. Friday was my last day of work. That doesn't mean that I am retired, or that I won't work again. It means I am through with THAT job, and THAT employer. It means no more calls in the middle of the night to go in and fix problems. It means no more long weekends of grueling work. It means having weekends to myself again. For the time being, it means having evey day to myself instead of having to give up my time to the whims of my bosses.

The complex of buildings where I worked always seemed dark and sinister. I resisted going to work there, but circumstances just seemed to draw me in. The buildings are constructed of dark brick and dark glass. They sit back from the highway across a mowed grassy field, surrounded by marshlands and cornfields. They recently erected some signs and lights, but earlier the place looked dark and foreboding, especially at dusk. Before I worked there it reminded me of a modern version of a House of Frankenstein. It only needed strange lights coming from the upper windows, and storm clouds with lighning overhead to complete the scene.

I think it's good that I'm leaving. I never liked that place. In this case I am following my instincts, and they are telling me to get the heck outta there.

Exit Merle. Enter Willie. "On the road again. I just can't wait to be on the road again...."

Chaos

I really believe that a person should move every 5 years just to get rid of unused junk, and so life doesn't get boring and stale. That being said, I really detest moving. I'm living among piles and boxes. I have piles to be packed, piles to go to Goodwill, and piles that I just don't know what to do with. The thing is, my possessions are minimal compared to a lot of people. What do people do that have a lot of stuff?

So, this is my life right now. In a few weeks I'll be settling into a new place, and hopefully things will calm down a little. I'll be glad. I want to concentrate on other things. There are so many interesting people and places and ideas out there, that it is a waste and a shame to be stuck on a long-term, mundane job or routine. I thrive on new ideas. I am attracted to smart and creative people. I hope for an infusion new interests. Even though my life is chaotic with this move, it's a worthwhile investment in my psyche and my well-being.

I promised my employer that I would stay to the end of a project, and after working 12 hours on Saturday, the cut-over has been accomplished, and now it's just a matter of tying up loose ends. I am working the rest of the week, but I certainly will be concentrating on other things.

My first concern is getting moved out of my home. I have been culling and sorting and boxing, but it still looks like I have made no progress. I live pretty simply, but I am amazed at the amount of stuff I have collected over the years. My goal it to get rid of as much stuff as possible. I need to fit everything into one U-haul trailer and a small pickup bed. I want to throw off all vestiges of my former life and start completely over.

I am not entirely forsaking the memories of my past. I like to keep one or two small things in rememberance of significant people or events from my past. I have a small collection of rocks that I have picked up in my travels over the years. I pick out one rock, and I hold it in my hand, and I remember, "Oh yes, this was from my trip to the Oregon coast. It was cloudy and cool as I walked with lovely Addy, and we watched the waves breaking on the sand."

Some people have chided me about my rock collection. During a past move a person picked up a box and exclaimed, "What do you have in here, ROCKS?" I said yes, and she looked back with shocked surprise, and then burst out laughing. I have to ask why is that worse than packing knick-knacks, or bobble-heads, or any of the millions of other things that people collect? My rocks contain memories, and they connect me with the earth. Each person has their own values and priorities.

I am a man making major changes to my life. I am quitting my job and moving from Minnesota to New Mexico. My friends and co-workers are supportive, although I suspect they secretly think I'm a little crazy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm a little crazy. Some have said that they have thought about doing the same thing, but they have never had the courage to do such a thing. Well, I'm doing it.

Several factors are driving this decision. First, I have always wanted to live in the American Southwest. I like the history and the prehistory, the culture, the art, and the lifestyle that I perceive it to be.

Second, I am anxious to get back to the mountains and a dryer climate. Minnesota is beautiful for its forests and its greenery and its lakes and rivers, but it's also known for its stifling, summer humidity and damp, cold winters. I really miss dry air, cool nights and mountaintops on horizons a hundred miles away. I miss the geology, the exposed rocks, the layers, the colors, the textures, and the sense of unfathomable time.

Third, (maybe this should be first) I have met a lady. Her influence has made me realize many things about myself, and she has helped me gather the courage to make this move. Without her, I think I would have withered into an aging, lonely, insignificant man, working a soul-less job, and hopelessly clinging to a tenuous paycheck. She has made me see that life is too short, and that I need to take chances and really experience life.

The fourth reason for moving is the developing attitude I have for my job of the last 6 years. Although I make a pretty good living, I draw no spirtual sustenance from my employment. It provides no balance in my life. My employer demands more and more of my time, which I am becoming more reluctant to give up. I have survived several stressful layoffs, and this spring there was talk of still more cost cutting, which translates into yet more layoffs. For their role in the cost cutting, the people in upper management give themselves high-fives and big raises, while the guys and gals in the trenches suddenly find themselves out on the street. I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't be caught in that situation again, so when the rumors of cuts started circulating this spring, I said 'enough', and I put my house on the market. I started thinning out my possessions and preparing for a change.

So here I am, packing my meager possessions under the deadline of a house closing, and preparing to drive half way across the continent to an unknown future. It should be a real trip. I was ready for a new adventure.